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"I Hate My Hair, PT 1"

Updated: Jan 28, 2023

How many of you genuinely feel this way? I never heard this comment as a Stylist until going Natural and removing Relaxers to chemically straighten our hair became a movement amongst black women. Thankfully, I don't hear it very much, but when I do, I listen intentionally to understand how and why the client feels this way about their hair in hopes of trying to redirect their perspective in a way to appreciate their hair and how it organically grows from their scalp. I truly believe the lack of education on how to manage one's hair is where this comment really comes from especially when you choose to go Natural before educating yourself to get a realistic idea of how the journey is going to be. Being as though most of the clients I service grew up in the Relaxer era, one was never taught how to manage their curly hair. We are now grown with real life responsibilities trying to fit in a schedule to learn how to do our hair which makes it frustrating. We simply don't have the time unlike when we were sub-teens and teenagers which would have been the perfect opportunity to learn our texture. My mom never wanted to put a Relaxer in my hair, because she knew how to style and take care of it. I was the one pressed for straight hair simply because my friends all had it. Nonetheless, this upbringing taught me how to style and take care of my natural hair.

I always like to ask my clients first, "What is it that you don't like about your hair and what do you want to see different?" I'll usually get a response such as, "It's always dry, it doesn't hold a style, it's always tangled, and it doesn't grow." Those are the most common responses. All of these concerns can be fixed with a haircut if you don't have any medical concerns. The haircut comes before the most recommended product on the market.

First question I always ask when it pertains to any of these concerns is, "When was your last haircut or trim and are you consistent?" The answer is ALWAYS, "I don't remember and no I'm not consistent." Curly hair is supposed to have a dry feel to the touch because of its texture, but if your hair is breaking due to dryness, you need a haircut and there is NO PRODUCT on the market that can mend split ends and split ends don't receive products because the strands are split and not sealed. So it's probably not your hair product that's not working, GO GET A HAIRCUT!

Your hair is always tangled because you need a haircut or trim. Have you seen what split ends look like under a microscope? Take a look below...

This picture shows the hair strands are obviously not sealed from roots to ends. The frayed ends causes tangles due to their inconsistency and unevenness. This picture is also a great reference to show you how hair products cannot be locked into your hair to receive the nutrients and benefits when applied due to the split ends exposing your medulla when the cuticle is damaged.

Your hair cannot and will not retain length, NOT GROW, but retain length due to split ends. The hair gets dry and brittle and breaks off causing your length to be compromised. Unless you have a medical concern, your hair is always growing. However, if you are not taking care of your hair, you cannot retain the length once it grows.

I'll follow up with a Part 2 sharing a different reason why clients hate their hair, This reason is less common, but more interesting. Stay tuned!

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